Okay, so yesterday as I wrote I was at a bit of a low.  It’s hard to realize you can’t be super woman.  I want to be able to do it all, and not just do it, but do it well and with a smile.  Yeah, so not possible.  But I now have realistic expectation.  I will be the best darn homeschooling mom I can be.  And you know what, I can do that.  It may not be perfect, but we will all have clean underwear, good food and by golly my kids will learn something and have their brains excersized this year.  So I have new New Year’s resolutions.

#1) School every school day.  I can be reasonable, and for illness or amazing opportunities we will cancel school.  But while I’m all about taking a day off to be sad during deployment, my boys (and I) need the discipline of every day.  So we will do school every school day.  Keep ourselves on track.  It just seems like every time we get off track, we really get off track.  And the curriculum keeps adding new stuff that would be a struggle even if we weren’t already struggling.  Like creative writing.  It’s not like I’m not having a time and a half getting Xavier to do all his seatwork as it is, and now we have creative writing.  Which A Beka is right, we need to be doing it.  Boy, oh boy, does Xavier need to learn what creative writing should really look like.  Right now it’s like pulling teeth to get a story out of him.  I know he may never love to write, but at some point he needs to learn to do things he doesn’t like.  However, he is such a creative kid and so imaginative I know I’m not being unreasonable pushing him for more.  But since the long break in December we are fighting just to get him to copy his memory verse and spelling list much less be creative.

#2) Keep the house from looking like we should be on Hoarders.  I had high hopes of organizing this house from top to bottom.  And maybe when I’m not needing to hover over Xavier to ensure he completes his seatwork I’ll have time to organize the coat closet that is driving me batty.  But until I no longer have to keep my eye on him to make sure work gets done and I no longer have to send work back multiple times knowing he’s not doing his best, the bar is set low.  Not happy about that, but priorities are priorities.  And a perfect house will be no comfort to me if I don’t do my best raising my children.  I want both, and hold out hope that maybe in a month or so resolution #1 will be doing what I hope it does and I can re-rethink resolution #2.  Until then I will make sure we have clean underwear and clean dishes to eat off of.

#3) when I get overwhelmed, remember to have some fun.  Yesterday, after a good cry (yes, I cried, didn’t like it, not proud of it, but crying is apparently part of who God made me so I have to accept it), I went downstairs and played the country Just Dance game we got from the library with the kids.  It was so fun.  I forgot just how good doing fun things could feel.  And how it brings us all together.

So, I’m up with Xavier, past 10, for the second night this week finishing homework.  Why so late?  Tuesday was a combination of PWOC and Biggest Loser.  We wouldn’t have watched Biggest Loser if I had known he didn’t finish all his stuff I gave him to do at PWOC, but I didn’t check.  Tonight, well, tonight’s a long story.  Clara was up till 7 this morning throwing up.  Not going sleep till 7, I slept in until 12, yes, very late, but I don’t function well on minimal sleep.  But Xavier already had his work for the day and I had hoped he was working on it like I told him he was supposed to.  Turns out he was trying to pull one over on me.  He erased stuff off the sheet I gave him that listed all his homework for the day, then hid the stuff he needed to do the work, didn’t do the work. and tried to tell me he had finished everything.  Someday he will learn that his mom isn’t that stupid.  Right now, I’m enraged and trying to come up with the appropriate punishment (in addition to the not playing with friends this weekend I have already condemned him to.)  Apparently, not only do I need to teach him about work ethic and discipline I need to help with honesty and integrity.  Boy, oh boy, do I have my work cut out for me these next months.