I’m going to start out today by being very honest.  Not that I don’t always tell the truth, but tonight I will tell the ugly side of the truth.  Right now I really don’t want to be writing.  It’s late, I’m tired, I have a headache, and I’m sore from trying to step up my work-out.  While I’m on the topic of things I don’t currently want to do, I don’t want to go to Arctic Thunder tomorrow.  I don’t want to get up early, I don’t want to deal with the crowds, I don’t want to spend the whole day in the sun, I don’t want to carry around a heavy purse full of sunscreen, earplugs, and whatever else will be needed throughout the day as my car will likely be miles away from where I will be, and I don’t want to deal with the traffic.  I know exactly what I want to do right now.  I want to curl up in bed, watch tv, and eat Gummy Bears.  And tomorrow I want to sleep in late, go eat Mexican for lunch, and generally not do much.

But I must ask is that what I really want.  Are those my only goals and aspirations for my life?  Are those good, healthy plans?  And is that what I want my kids to remember of their childhood?  Or do I want more?

I yearn to write.  I have mentally written posts all week, for both of my blogs.  I have something worth saying.  I have a story worth telling.  If I don’t write it, how can it ever get said.  I do not want to wake up fifty years from now and regret never telling my story.  I will regret never saying what I have to say.  And by then I certainly won’t remember it, so it will be lost.  However, I won’t regret what I’m missing on tv.  I already missed the Olympics opening.  Can’t say I’m happy that I missed that, but I can say I’m very glad I went to Celebrate Recovery instead, it was the better option.  So I need to start writing.  And what better time to start than right now?

I may actually regret the Gummy Bears months from now when I’m trying to look cute on the beach in Hawaii.  It’s probably a good thing there aren’t even any in the house at this time.

The air show will be very cool.  Yes, it will wear me out, but there will be so much cool stuff there, and I know I’ll have a lot of fun.  And it’s not like I can just go any time.  This is a once every two years event.  Hence the crowd I dread.  If I didn’t go, I’d be depriving my kids of a cool opportunity.  Lazy Saturdays abound in their life.  Air shows are a unique event where they will have fun and have the opportunity to learn some stuff.  I want my kids to remember doing cool stuff as children when they grow up.  I want them to have great memories.  This will be a great memory.  We will all have fun.  I’m sure of it.

So I’m deciding tonight which are the more important wants.  The wants to be lazy and comfortable.  Or the wants to do something more, even if it isn’t always comfortable.  As I make the decision, I will also make the decision to be happy.  To remember the choices I’ve made aren’t the most comfortable, but they are the choices with the best benefits.  To be happy even as my bed calls, knowing that I will be there soon with the sweet knowledge that I’ve accomplished something that is important to me before I sleep.  To be happy in the midst of confusing crowds and chaos all while the sun quite probably beats down, knowing the reason for the crowd and chaos is that we all want to see some really cool stuff, remembering that sunshine makes for a more fun day outdoors than rain.